My Joy

I am moved to tell you
The Baby I carry Is yours
Im sorry but
I want it
Life and Love
They Grow in Me
Perfection and Grace
Will Live through Me
So I do apologize
I must keep What is ours
I will Understand If you chose to leave
Yes of course I will Be sad
But Know I will get over it
I Love you and
I want you to Love Our Child
If you Cant I will understand
Dont worry How we will get By
God Will Make a Way
Peace and Pain
Grow inside me
but I live for the Peace
and Pray for the Pain
You Don't understand
It is okay I Love you
Because You Gave Me
My Joy

I truly Hate what this is
I Feel nothing
I know nothing
Its like i'm on an anesthetic
I Feel No pain
I Feel No Sorrow
I Know Not Happiness
and it is all because of You
You were my daydream
but now you are
my only Nightmare
I hate that you control me
i hate that I love you
I hate That you love Me
Lets just do this
Lets just Die in pure Misery
You hate Me just as I hate you
We are no Good for Each other
Maybe thats Why we are Perfect for Each other
But Ill Never Know
I Never Knew
I dont understand
Why are We
What are We
Where do we go from fear
Where do we go from Hate
Lets just Die this sweet Nightmare Of Death
And let misery Be ours forever More

I Love you But

I Love you But
It's not going to work
We cant do this any longer
we dont talk
we dont chill
we barely know each other
Everything says run But
My heart says stay
you make me smile with one word
the moon Shines when you smile
and my heart glows when you kiss me
I Love You But
The Time is never Right
I fear it never will Be
You scare me when you pull away
your so sure
but then your not what is your problem
I Love You But
is all You ever say
But today I say good-bye but
Im not Coming Back

I think I always will

You Hate me Now
I cant say I blame you
Im sure you wish
you had never fallen in love with me
I could never wish that for myself
you still make me smile
I just really like him
When you didnt answer me
I dont know
I guess I figured you didnt want me
Its not like you told me on a regular
He does everyday
I understand you aren't the feelings type
I dont blame you at all
I do Love you
I think I always will
I really hope you dont hate me
though I'd understand if you did
Maybe one day we really will get married
Maybe one day we can at least be friends
Because to totally lose your first love
is not a good feeling
I know I gave up by moving on
I know that says more about me than you
there are no excuses
just know that I really do Love you
I think I always will

Drugs

I met you on a cool august day
You said Hi I said Hi Back
We decided we would exchange numbers
we talked everyday we texted all the time
I helped you move into your room
that night i slept over
and you became my boyfriend
from then on you became my drug
I couldnt stop thinking about you
every time I saw you I had to have some of you
We have had our up and downs
our fights and carry-ons but
I love you
Ive tried to see myself with someone else
I cant
Ive tried to forget you
I cant
Ive tried to let you go and end the pain you sometimes cause
but again I cant
You are my drug you flow through my veins like blood
you move through my lungs like air
damn you are all I want
you are my drug

a friendship gone and ended

As I sit in this room
this cold dark room
this Damn dusty Room
I wonder
What did I do
what Did I say
better yet What didnt I do
and What didnt i say
See there was oh so much
There were so many words that could have filled the air
but I let not one of them fly
You made me choose
and you made my chose
it surely was not to be you
Now i sit here tattered and torn
I sit here beaten and bloody
what do I do
Where am I
How did we end up here
I dont know Im sure you probably dont either
But Im sure if We retrace our steps we can surely find out
just where Our little hide out is
What the fuck was the problem It was all so fucking
perfect
but too perfect We were the three blind mice the three musketeers
We were fresh Jamie and richard
We were a family even people who did not speak to us saw that and Liked that
but Now we are all pulled apart scattered and dead
lost among the many files of homicide cases that will go unsolved
because our friendship may never be resolved
see I just dont understand how I ended up in the
cold dark room
this damp dusty room
this room that looks so unfamiliar
but then again can I see
Im dead no feeling
Numb I dont know or maybe im not dead because while physically I cant feel
a thing emotionally and mentally Im in pain
Im in this room
dark cold dusty damp in a bucket of Ice and im
LOST

Attempted Suicide

You slit your wrist
you took those pills
you put the gun up to your head
You pulled the trigger now your dead
The floor is drenched in blood
nothing but red
but my life is now in turmoil
did you think of Me
Did you think of Us
Your family
obviously Not
No you Didn't Die
Now we Live with
The feeling that we are not
GOOD Enough
did your problems leave
Did your issues die
No but Now we
must remember when you
ATTEMPTED SUICIDE