THANK YOU

Damn,
To chose those words
Those words of sheer beauty
every syllable Rings in my heart
Beacause you knew
You Knew just what it was that I felt
Every pain Joy filled Tear
Every glimmering light in my eye
You knew the Joy you Brought me
and To Think it was the same Joy I brought you
Did you Know When you gave me Those Sweet words
That was how I felt for you
Did you Know that Every Time I think of you
I smile Because your Love
It Brightens My Day
Well Thank You
Thank You for those words Of sheer Beauty
Thank you For those Syllables of Sweet Joy
Thank You For you Love Each Day
And Thank you For letting Me Love you more
Every Day In Every Way!!

Virgin Beauty

Im a virgin
I Told Him that
He said He could Wait
That was Three Months ago
Now He ask me Everyday
Dont You love Me
Dont you Trust Me
The answer is yes
And damn I want him
but I fear
As soon as I give it up He will Leave
I fear that the Way he is acting now
THat is all he wants
He says He love me
but he says He has Needs
My momma once said
What you wont do
Someone Else Will
does that Mean he will leave me because I wont
Give it up
My momma also said
I was a Virgin Beauty
So Thats why I hold It dear
Im a Senior in College
and I want True Love
He will Get it when I know
But I just want to be able to say
I Lost My Virgin Beauty To
The Perfect One

Fear Is real

DAMN!
Im so scared
Im afraid of
everything within me
Im afraid to love
Im scared to let go
Im scared to trust
Maybe its because
Ive been Hurt
Maybe Im just afraid to be yours
Maybe Im Afraid to Be Happy
It must be that
I must be afraid to be happy
But Why?
Is it because My Daddy never Loved me
Maybe Because My Mom Never Cared
Is it because Ive Never Seen True happiness
Why Am I afraid to open up and let you in
You Pry So hard But...
DAMN!!
Im So Scared
I Sit here in Tears
I know You Love Me
I want to Let Go
I want to Let you In
But Im So scared
Im so scared to trust another Man
the Last one I trusted
Hurt Me
Please Just Hold Me Kiss Me
Be My Prince
Be My Amazing
Help Me To Let Go
Help Me to Let Love
Help Me to Love you

Pain caused By a friendship changed by sex

I told you the other Day
I liked you
I missed you
and I wanted to be with you
You never replied
that hurt quite a bit
Now I wish Id Never said
anything
I go back further
I wish we Had never Had Sex
I wish We Had Remained Friends
I miss you so Damn Much
I miss laughing on the phone with you
I miss the late night talks we used to have
I tried to hide my feelings and now
You are gone
I let fear run You away and now
there is no way I can get you Back
I wish things were Different
I really Do
We dont even speak anymore
It makes me sad
I Text You ignore
You text I rush to reply
I miss you
I think I may Love you

Reply to My Joy

I feel Moved to tell you
The Baby that is inside you
is Mine
I am happy
Life and Love
They Grow in You and Me
I Love you
and I Love you more
for your Choice
so I must Ask you
Will You Marry Me
I know You may Wonder
How will We survive
But Worry Not
God Is Here
Worry Not
for He has a plan
We will Get BY
Peace And Pain
We Will Have
But The pain Will
Help us Find that Peace
I love You and I love you Because You
will give Me the Greatest gift of All
Love
Unconditional LOVE and for that
you are
MY JOY

My Joy

I am moved to tell you
The Baby I carry Is yours
Im sorry but
I want it
Life and Love
They Grow in Me
Perfection and Grace
Will Live through Me
So I do apologize
I must keep What is ours
I will Understand If you chose to leave
Yes of course I will Be sad
But Know I will get over it
I Love you and
I want you to Love Our Child
If you Cant I will understand
Dont worry How we will get By
God Will Make a Way
Peace and Pain
Grow inside me
but I live for the Peace
and Pray for the Pain
You Don't understand
It is okay I Love you
Because You Gave Me
My Joy

I truly Hate what this is
I Feel nothing
I know nothing
Its like i'm on an anesthetic
I Feel No pain
I Feel No Sorrow
I Know Not Happiness
and it is all because of You
You were my daydream
but now you are
my only Nightmare
I hate that you control me
i hate that I love you
I hate That you love Me
Lets just do this
Lets just Die in pure Misery
You hate Me just as I hate you
We are no Good for Each other
Maybe thats Why we are Perfect for Each other
But Ill Never Know
I Never Knew
I dont understand
Why are We
What are We
Where do we go from fear
Where do we go from Hate
Lets just Die this sweet Nightmare Of Death
And let misery Be ours forever More

I Love you But

I Love you But
It's not going to work
We cant do this any longer
we dont talk
we dont chill
we barely know each other
Everything says run But
My heart says stay
you make me smile with one word
the moon Shines when you smile
and my heart glows when you kiss me
I Love You But
The Time is never Right
I fear it never will Be
You scare me when you pull away
your so sure
but then your not what is your problem
I Love You But
is all You ever say
But today I say good-bye but
Im not Coming Back

I think I always will

You Hate me Now
I cant say I blame you
Im sure you wish
you had never fallen in love with me
I could never wish that for myself
you still make me smile
I just really like him
When you didnt answer me
I dont know
I guess I figured you didnt want me
Its not like you told me on a regular
He does everyday
I understand you aren't the feelings type
I dont blame you at all
I do Love you
I think I always will
I really hope you dont hate me
though I'd understand if you did
Maybe one day we really will get married
Maybe one day we can at least be friends
Because to totally lose your first love
is not a good feeling
I know I gave up by moving on
I know that says more about me than you
there are no excuses
just know that I really do Love you
I think I always will

Drugs

I met you on a cool august day
You said Hi I said Hi Back
We decided we would exchange numbers
we talked everyday we texted all the time
I helped you move into your room
that night i slept over
and you became my boyfriend
from then on you became my drug
I couldnt stop thinking about you
every time I saw you I had to have some of you
We have had our up and downs
our fights and carry-ons but
I love you
Ive tried to see myself with someone else
I cant
Ive tried to forget you
I cant
Ive tried to let you go and end the pain you sometimes cause
but again I cant
You are my drug you flow through my veins like blood
you move through my lungs like air
damn you are all I want
you are my drug

a friendship gone and ended

As I sit in this room
this cold dark room
this Damn dusty Room
I wonder
What did I do
what Did I say
better yet What didnt I do
and What didnt i say
See there was oh so much
There were so many words that could have filled the air
but I let not one of them fly
You made me choose
and you made my chose
it surely was not to be you
Now i sit here tattered and torn
I sit here beaten and bloody
what do I do
Where am I
How did we end up here
I dont know Im sure you probably dont either
But Im sure if We retrace our steps we can surely find out
just where Our little hide out is
What the fuck was the problem It was all so fucking
perfect
but too perfect We were the three blind mice the three musketeers
We were fresh Jamie and richard
We were a family even people who did not speak to us saw that and Liked that
but Now we are all pulled apart scattered and dead
lost among the many files of homicide cases that will go unsolved
because our friendship may never be resolved
see I just dont understand how I ended up in the
cold dark room
this damp dusty room
this room that looks so unfamiliar
but then again can I see
Im dead no feeling
Numb I dont know or maybe im not dead because while physically I cant feel
a thing emotionally and mentally Im in pain
Im in this room
dark cold dusty damp in a bucket of Ice and im
LOST

Attempted Suicide

You slit your wrist
you took those pills
you put the gun up to your head
You pulled the trigger now your dead
The floor is drenched in blood
nothing but red
but my life is now in turmoil
did you think of Me
Did you think of Us
Your family
obviously Not
No you Didn't Die
Now we Live with
The feeling that we are not
GOOD Enough
did your problems leave
Did your issues die
No but Now we
must remember when you
ATTEMPTED SUICIDE

worry Bee

You been following me
asking me whats wrong
Just because i dont look happy
im fine are you ok
I think you worry too much
Why worry about me
I have been fine thus far
YOu ask every five minutes these days
You move differently around me
you speak differently
you look at me a little different
Why are you worrying
the Doctors say Im fine
Please just calm down
when you worry
I worry
Please just stop
SIt down and Leave me alone
there is no need to worry any longer
Im Here
and to stay

I LOVE YOU TOO

I want you
I only want you
Please stay with me
Ill do anything
I just want to feelthe love like that first night
that night we made Love
I want to Feel you spirit
intertwined with mine
Please Stay
I dont know what I would do with you
you are my world
Id leave this world if it meant youd stay
please dont you remember the love we shared
Dont you care
My heart is breaking please just say something
give me one word
I LOVe you
Please LOVE me too
I need YOU
SPEAK PLEASE
...
I LOVE YOU TOO

Married

we met about two years ago
It started out really rocky
at first you didnt like me very much
I kept trying though
I knew you were the only one I wanted
I had to have you
you came around and gave me a first date
after that we had a second and third
soon we were exclusive
you were there when my granny passed
I was there when your dad died
you helped me when they stole my identity
I helped you start your own business
we soon fell in LOVE
I could not go with out talking to you
so I asked you to marry me
In the middle of the restaurant
you said yes
I was too elated
we planned and planned
through it all
through everything
you stood by me
and now
youll stand by me forever
because
we're
MARRIED